Not a lot of time to get my thoughts together. But the past couple of weeks have been really tough. The thoughts 'what the hell have I done with my life?' have certainly crossed my mind. I've also got so frustrated and annoyed at my baby behaving, well, like a baby, I've worn myself into the ground. Currently fighting off mastitis. Although I'm not surprised I've had it, as soon as I learned about it I thought 'hmm, yeah I can imagine that being the sort of thing I'd have.' It isn't pleasant. Yesterday I just couldn't stop crying.
But each day is a new day, and we learn something new about our little froglet. He gives us bigger smiles and makes new sounds, his eyes are wide open, taking in everything going around him. It's wonderful. It is, without doubt, the trickiest thing I have ever undertaken. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a long, grey tunnel and fear it'll be like this for the next 18 years. Other times I feel excited for what's to come next. It's all blurred into one. I think I'm starting to find myself again, but my identity is still lost. I suppose I won't ever be the same again, but then, that's what life is. It's always changing, progressing, moving forward. Did I really think I was going to be the same version of me for the rest of my life?
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