23.10.22

Our beautiful boy is now with us.

He was born Born 13.10.22, weighing 7lb 6oz. It is amazing and wonderful and terrifying that he is with us. The lead up to the final pregnancy days were rather uneventful, although some blood test results had them concerned about my bile acid levels (or something like this,) which can affect baby if left ignored so they wanted to induce me. I hadn't really considered it before because I nievely thought that everything would be fine and I'd be giving birth naturally. But it ended up being an emergency c section. It was a rather traumatic experience, though one that I wouldn't change as it brought our beautiful son here healthy and happy. I will write about it again some time so it is out in the open and I can move on from it. But I reckon it will take a bit of my getting my head around it and processing it. Much like the hard, hard pregnancy blues which have me crying every day. Some days are worse than others. My emotions are just everywhere all at once and at times I just don't feel able to cope. Recovering from surgery with a baby has been incredibly difficult. It was always going to be whatever sort of birth I'd had, but it's felt very long and being reliant on Will for everything has been hard too, though he has been wonderful. Doing all the cooking, cleaning, preparing bottles, changing nappies. I really couldn't ask for anything more.

It's everso daunting though and sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out for it. The hormones, lack of sleep and recovery are all adding to it I know. They say not to wish away this precious time and I'm not, but, I look forward to when that's settled down a bit and I feel more like my old self again.