I'm listening to Prince in the hope that it'll cheer me up a bit. I'm not having a very good day. I'm likely tired, our weekends are always so full of (fun) social things when Monday quickly comes around, I'm exhausted.
I'm really not enjoying the job at all and I feel sad by the thought of doing another 2 months of being cried at, shouted at and critiqued over the phone. And it's constant, the whole shift, just one after the other. I like to think I'm helping people but, I'm not. I don't know enough yet to feel that's actually true and even if I do get it right, all social services are at capacity and are taking an age to get around to doing anything. It's very frustrating. And uncomfortable. And draining. Emotionally draining. I know this is my only option for the time being, I can't quit now, it would be incredibly irresponsible. I feel disappointed it's yet another job that doesn't seem to be what I thought it'd be.
I've no doubt I've felt this way before about many jobs in the past, all whilst feeling trapped as though I can't do anything else. And I got through them, so I'll get thought this. Because I have to. And I know that being sad about it won't make the day go any faster, or the calls any easier. I just want to mope for a while.
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