20.08.21

And now, for something on a whole different topic.

When it comes to dressing myself, I like to think I dress well. But my wardrobe is bursting with a whole lot of confusion; different personalities, different types of garment, different moods. It is by no means consistent. And for a long time, I really liked that about it. It was quirky, full of inspiration and character. I loved opening the doors and seeing so many different colours, prints and fabrics. I'm rarely critical of it because so many pieces are second hand pieces by designers I absolutely love; Vivienne Westwood, Rick Owens, Helmut Lang, for absolute bargains. Or, made to order pieces from Etsy stores or handmade pieces from my mum. Each piece has a story. However, the contents in their entirety, does not. It's jumbled up all over the place and I'm finding it more and more difficult to find outfits that I want to wear. So many items have some sort of issue that i've been ignoring for years; doesn't feel comfortable on, it doesn't really fit me anymore, I don't like how I look in it, it's seen better days etc. And if it does fit me well, the colour isn't right, or it doesn't go with anything else in my collection. 

So, I'm going to be brutally honest with myself and start streamlining my clothing. This is something I do periodically (I have to, with the amount of things I keep bringing in!) and I do really enjoy the process, especially the selling on or giving away, as I know it's going to purposeful homes.

I want to have an identity when it comes to my style. Because now, I don't know what it is. I'm not really sure who I'm trying to show the world anymore. 

See, I love colour and I feel very happy when i'm wearing brightly coloured things. So obviously the pieces that 'spark joy' will be kept. But I love a striking silhouette layered in dark tones, drapey fabrics, leather and statement scarves. I feel like that aesthetic is very close to my heart as it seems to be the one I keep wanting to go back to. But this completely contradicts the bright, vibrant 50s inspired pieces i've accumulated over recent years. There isn't much/any room for mix and match. 

I want my clothing to be the following; 

• Comfortable.
• Timeless.
• Consistent.
• Practical. 
• Easy to 'read' (as in, mood.) 
• Flattering. 
• Cool. 
• Deliberate. 

I want what I wear to represent the sort of person I am; a creative sort who loves colour and pattern and putting myself out there into the world, all with a bit of a dark 'edge.' I want to feel sexy in an understated way. Ultimately, I want to feel more confident. Right now, nothing really makes me feel very good when I put it on.

I suppose I don't want to acknowledge that i've gained a bit of weight. It's nothing major but I feel it in old favourites I try on and soon take off again. I hope to lose it, but I've also got to face the fact that i'm getting older. My body is going to change. I don't want it to really, but it's a part of life and I want to respect it, not feel embarrassed by it. The clothing I have now is the me from 5 - 10 years ago and is unforgiving in terms of fit, so I feel self-conscious. They remind me of happy times. Times where i've felt attractive or loved while wearing them. There are some more recent pieces, but they never see the light of day because they're not styled to go with anything else.

So, i'm going to work on striping it back and starting again. Getting some basics and just build it from there, see how it feels as I experiment and play.

Things I know I like and don't want to declutter;

• My Golden Goose trainer collection - These are colourful and comfortable. These would make fantastic 'pops of colour' to an otherwise monochromatic look. 
• My favourite leather jackets (x2,) All Saints trousers (they've long been discontinued,) All Saints pirate cardigans (x 3, most used layering staple, they go with everything.) 
• My rainbow jumpers (x3) - They make me happy. I want to be able to wear them more because right now they clash with too much (and it's still too warm!)
• My favourite Viv dresses that I know are flattering on me.

Things I know that I want to declutter; 

• Things that irritate me - a jumper that's shrunk in the wash, a top that makes me sweat, a pair of jeans that make me look bigger than I actually am.
• Things that I never have the occasion to wear. 
• Things I have because it's by a brand I love, but I don't love the article itself.

I want everything I own to feel good when I wear it. I want to purchase high quality pieces. I want to love every single piece. There is going to be a lot of trial and error, I'm sure. 

Any/all of the proceeds of the things I sell will go towards my new wardrobe. I'll donate as a last resort. I'm sure it will all take a long time but I'm hoping to get started soon.

Things I want to buy;

• A pair of jeans that fit me how I want them to fit me.
• A black cropped jumper. 
• A black minimal belt.
• Plain white and black T shirts (that aren't transparent or too short.)

I'm going to try and minimise how much I purchase second hand online. It's always so tempting for me and it's something I do when i'm bored too, which is a hard habit to break. But I can't try the piece on first, or feel it in my hands, plus it's hard to return them so I end up stuck with a lot of things that are nearly what i'm after but not quite. I am conscious of the environment for sure which is why I always shop second hand. But I know I can shop sensibly from ethical brands. I'm happy to pay more for them as they're usually of better quality. 

Things I want to remember;

• Just because I love (whatever it is,) doesn't mean it will love me.
• Just because it's a great price, doesn't mean I need to buy it.
• Don't buy more of the things you love (like colourful dresses,) wear more of the things you love.
• Don't buy anything when you're feeling sad/anxious/angry.

It's a project. Hopefully one that in a few months, I'll feel happy with.