26.01.21

I've been wanting to write here for ages but happily and unbelievably, my time has been spent speaking to someone truly wonderful. Someone new, somebody incredible, somebody meaningful. 

Something about him feels different this time around. I'm falling for him in a really big way and where I'd normally be anxiety ridden about all of this, I feel in a complete state of bliss. I feel so lucky, so grateful, so alive. I am my old self, I am laughing all the time, we are sharing, we are excited and giddy like a couple of teenagers in love. I believe I'm already feel myself falling in love with him, which after 13 days feels ridiculous and if a friend told me the same thing, well, I'd be a little sceptical. But Will puts me at ease. We're both enjoying every single moment together and hope that in the not so distant future we will meet - at this point I feel that we have to, to see if this very real connection we share now will feel just as real in person. This lockdown is proving to be the most difficult of all because of an overwhelming sense of longing I've never felt before. We're already making plans, trips, adventures. Even typing it I feel frightened of tempting fate, for making this beautiful person dissappear but it's how I feel, I cannot deny it. I suddenly feel my world open up again, I feel free at a time where we're the most restricted we've ever been.

I just want to love him so deeply. I want to make his dreams come true. I just want him. I want to speed up this month or maybe even two until we're at the point of being able to meet. I've never known anyone like him. I've never wanted anyone more...