22.12.20

I dearly hope that the next person I meet will be the last, I just cannot keep doing this to myself. There does seem to be a pattern. 

I won't be swept away by looks again.

I won't keep giving the benefit of the doubt when things repeatedly feeling off.

I won't brush aside feelings of worrying as though I'm making too much effort. 

I won't ignore the pangs of worry, fear and anxiety in my every day life as a result of the relationship. 

I don't think I'm asking for too much really. I know who I'm looking for and feel I deserve it. But I know I've rushed excitedly into a relationship out of excitement and joy at the thought of not being single anymore - I think that's where I make my biggest mistake. Or I move in with the person too soon when I don't know where they stand on commitment.

Someone is out there for me and it'll click into place. Sure it wont be easy all the time of course but, hopefully they'll be on the same page as me... 

For now me and Andy are going to have a nice Christmas together and New Year, but after that I'll look to move out...