I have never been to the hospital before and today is the second time I've been admitted this week. It has been the most stressful and upsetting time of my life. Nobody is really sure what it is, could be a pelvic infection or an appendicitis. I stayed in for three nights before feeling very sorry for myself, and was overjoyed when they sent me home with some antibiotics but after an awful night of tears and generally feeling awful, I sought after more medical advise who advised I return as soon as possible.
I believe its stress that's caused this, and it hasn't been helped by going through the hospital ordeal or coming home to find out that Andy met up with his ex while I was away. I already felt like my world was falling apart but this news made me feel so tremendously sad. I felt like he couldnt wait for me to leave so he could revisit his past life. I've been through hell for what?
Of course he reassured me that I'm his love, his one and only, he was meeting up with a fiend, it wasn't a big deal. I believe him, its just it always seems to coinside with a time where I'm going through a real rough time. It's the final kick in the teeth.
It was awful being poked, proded and in pain, it brought everything back to the surface and I was forced to relive it all over again. I feel still feel incredibly upset by it all, it's very traumatic.
I really hope that I'll be able to go home tonight...
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