18.09.19 pt 2

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that you’re so lost, you’re confused, poor and largely lonely.
You’re a talented, creative and friendly individual with so much potential - there is no shortage of people telling you this. But because of my choices in earlier years, you’re trapped in a dead end job, with peoples constant negativity grinding you down and you feel hopelessly far away for what you long and dream for in this life.
I decided one day that to live in London was a good idea, I’d spread my wings and ‘find myself’ and would be well on my way to embarking on a career that was fulfilling and that I was proud of. The pressure proved too much which lead to changes of constant changes in living situations, always chasing that last deposit, always scraping by to make ends meet. If it wasn’t for my dad, I would have had to have returned home a long time ago.
Relationships have come and gone yet you still find yourself feeling alone. Perhaps you’ve an exciting prospect currently, but your constant fear and anxiety will likely push him away.

I’m sorry that you don’t feel you’re worthy. I’m sorry I’ve constantly berated your positive spirit and made you feel forever inadequate. I’m sorry that you no longer feel as though you can speak what’s on your mind or share how you feel with others. You’ve built a mask of ‘I’m fine’ that’s visible only to others.
You deserve the very same happiness and joy you wish upon others. Why don’t you believe it yourself?

You only get one life. This is it. It’s happening right now, as you stare down at your phone screen. Don’t wish it away. People appear to have it all figured out but really, they’re all as lost as you. There is no right or wrong way of doing this, just be you. Believe in your talent and don’t give up on your desire and effort to find love - and build a real, true, love.

This will all get better. Don’t ask me how I know, but it will. This is just a rough patch. There are people who love you. Do it for them, if nobody else.