Got to maintain trust that everything will be okay and work out as it should. But it's hard when it's been two days without hearing anything. It's like, when we have some contact I feel on such a high, really positive, listening to (and believing) the new 'mantra' but soon it's like with every hour that passes it changes to fear. I really hate it. Why can't I just be casual and let it happen?
It makes me question how well I really know him. The truth of the matter is, I really don't. When i'm with him I feel like I do, but when we're apart I am doubtful. This isn't exclusive to him though, this feeling haunts me with every single relationship I've ever had. I know that this feeling of doubt and worry will change absolutely nothing. It'll only weigh me down and affect how I go about my daily life. But it's hard when you care so much. I shouldn't, you mustn't give too much so early on but I just can't do it.
I'm not sure what this weekend will have in store. Me and Andy might meet up on Sunday but it's his only day off for two weeks so i'm not holding my breath.
I shouldn't be negative and I should just hope for the best. Hormones are beating me up, not letting me relax...we'll see. Let's just...wait and see.
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