19.06.19

An hour and a half to go before I walk out of the office door and out into the rain, unsure which way fate will fall. My old housemate's cheerful 'you only get one first date' resounds in my mind. I'm trying to stay positive.
A glowing profile is only the first stage. Great message exchanges are a fantastic way for building expectation and trust, but that can all be blown right out of the water as soon as the first sentences have been said. It's amazing how quickly the mind can assess the mannerisms, behaviors, expressions, attitudes and know within the first minuet whether or not that particular person is someone to see again.

I think we should have a fun time this evening. We've established enough similarities to hopefully maintain some good conversation. I hope that he is charming and not brash. 'What do you think our biggest differences will be?' he asked a few days ago after we agreed the date. I found it a question that stumped me a little, but I managed to cobble together something along the lines of 'well it would have to be something I can only assume as we haven't talked about it yet. Something like, what you're looking from with all of this! Perhaps you're looking for something casual,' to which he assured me that he was looking to settle down. He said he'd asked as we kept discovering things we shared, so he was intrigued as to what we might be differing on. He correctly guessed that I was more of an introvert, he said that he was more extrovert, not at all a surprise after learning of his lead guitarist/competitive boxing background. I mean, those two things don't really light my fire as such. But he's quick witted and loves the same sort of comedy as me and there's something about him that has me interested.
Will I be surprised to find he's loud and overbearing? No. But perhaps he's cute with it. He's already warned me that he's pretty direct, but I seem to get on pretty well with these sorts of people. I think about my previous, lasting relationships and they were with people who kept a lot of their thoughts to themselves and in the end, it was a big cause of things ending.
I kinda want to skip ahead to tomorrow morning when i'm back here at my desk, asking myself how it all went. I'm excited for the potential of this evening. But i'm apprehensive for the likely let-down. Perhaps he'll share how he's a manic depressive, or that he plans on moving away soon, or that he's still in love with his ex or...something messy.
Perhaps he'll sweep me off my feet.
Goodness knows. But i'm nervous.