Well, thankfully i'm feeling a little bit more with it today. It's amazing how strongly hormones effect my thoughts. It's happening right there in my brain, why can't it be optional, I wish I had some better form of control over it. I guess it's all about riding it out...
I'm meeting up with Chris later this evening. I'm really looking forward to it, although without wanting to be crude I was hoping my period came along when I was expecting it...not 5 fucking days early. Perhaps it's a blessing. I just feel as though i'm in a better place to let him in, that's if he'd want to too of course. I shouldn't be tempted by his comfort, but I really do miss him. If I think of everything we've both been through, sometimes I just wish I could snap my fingers and we'd both be back together again.
Perhaps it wouldn't be right. Probably not. But who even knows? We're both so overly analytical, it's like we're both trying to talk each other out of it.
I just know that I miss him, and it's been a long time since I've laughed like how he makes me laugh.
We'll just have to wait to see what happens.
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