Adapting to the come down

I'm not really sure why but I just feel pretty blue today. Anxious and on-edge, my mind won't stop feeding me negative thoughts. I'm sure it's just the come down after what has been a very intense couple of days. Perhaps I just need to press pause, instead of hurtling towards everything onehundred miles an hour.
Perhaps I feel a bit thrown by how inseparable me and Josh have become after not knowing each other for very long, it hasn't even been a month and yet one date seems to lead to at least 2 or 3 consecutive days being with each other. Yet I welcome him in with open arms. I know it's probably best to be cautious about it all but, i'm enjoying the ride. It's lame but...it's nice to be wanted.

We met up on Friday evening for an evening of boardgames, drinks and food. He ended up staying the whole of the next day, and I went to his flat, where I stayed until Sunday evening when I finally got home.

‘You’re such an incredible person’
‘Thank you for everything’
‘You’re just the nicest person’
‘If I were rich I’d take you places’

He says such sweet things, they always knock me off balance, I’m not used to it.

It was nice to see his flat, though I was cautious going into it, what with it being the place he owns with his ex girlfriend. I feared seeing many of her belongings still dotted about the place would make me feel as though I didn't belong there but surprisingly, this was not the case. It wasn't a place that I would buy personally, not wanting to sound rude but it just didn't have any of the hallmarkings I'd usually go for in a place. Though i've never been in the position to purchase somewhere and probably never will be, so it's pointless me even making this observation. I suppose I was happy to be back at my flat, with all my cosy, colourful talking points. I liked how he wanted me there, and it was cute how inexperienced he was hosting someone but it does make me wonder who recent their split was. It still feels too soon to ask these things, we're still in the very early phase and I'm sure it'll naturally come out in time. I suppose I just don't want to be getting mixed in to something that I shouldn't. But then a lot of that is his call and to be honest. I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't had a lot of experience in general, he seems a lil unsure of himself but I hope that'll come with time too. We'll just have to see.
I enjoy my time with him and he seems to be very keen so, I'll keep bobbing along and just play it all by ear. I'm not going to devote all my thoughts, desires and plans into what he and I could be. I know this will only hurt me in the long run, either by not playing out at all, or not as I expected.

Yesterday, in order to help dilute my feelings a little bit, I decided to test the waters and do a little more browsing. I got to messaging a few interesting people which put a little spring in my step. As much as it all makes me feel incredibly anxious, it also made me feel relieved. There are fun people out there, wanting to chat and possibly meet up too. Whether it'll come to any of that, we'll have to wait and see. I suppose i'm not really in any mad rush. But, it's good to remind myself that I can be a little choosy if I want to be. Not in a mean way, but, when I think of the relationships i've had that started from an app, they all kinda go this way. I throw myself head first into one person and that's how it ends up. Not always for the best...
There's no real way of knowing. I'm just doing what feels right in the moment, and just generally do my best.

This evening my brother is coming over which will be nice, i've missed him and he's always good at talking some sense into me.