New start

Day by day.

I've started listening to podcasts and i'm enjoying music again. I'm distracting myself by trying to make my days and evenings as eventful as possible so by the time night time comes around, i'm glad to see my bed and collapse into dreams. I think i'm sleeping a bit better than I was before.

I saw Harry last night, it was a pleasant evening. We were two friends sat across from each other, chatting about life. It didn't make me feel sad or awkward, it was just nice. I felt like it had been a while i'd enjoyed conversation, stretched that social mussel within, I wasn't as wooden as I feared that I might be. Seeing him again confirmed my feelings from before, we get on very well but a few of his mannerisms and slight awkwardness made me feel as though we are definitely better of as friends. It was a good introduction to a new era of my life I suppose...

I haven't thought much about Mike this week, it's mainly in the mornings when waking up, that's when it still feels a bit sore. But as I warm up into the day, I find my attitude change and walking out of the door i've been holding my head up, taking in my surroundings. I've just been focusing on the new and the now. I've a date with a trade mark lawyer this evening which should be interesting, i'm not sure what to expect really. I don't think i've ever even spoken to a lawyer before! (But then again, why would they ever want to talk to me!?) We've had some nice messages going back and forth, he seems very friendly and we haven't tired of things to say so I'm sure whatever happens, it'll be a fun evening.

'You love this bit,' my brother tells me as I let him know about my various date plans. It's true, this is where dating is fun. Going out, meeting new people, you never know what to expect. I don't want to do it for a long time though, but for now, I know it's just what I need to do to help me feel as though...all is not lost.

I'm really looking forward to meeting Ollie tomorrow too, he seems really lovely. He's not as hot on replies so there's always a bit of me that wonders if I might just never write again but hey, we'll just have to wait and see. There's a few potential irons in the fire, i'm just trying to keep and open mind. Not going to pin any hopes on one particular person, just going to...live my life, as cheesy as it sounds.

I'll be heading home at the weekend with my brother to see the family, which should be nice.
I'm not sure if me and Mike will talk, I'm just going to let him contact me when he's ready. I'm not going to think about what I want to say, no, just see how it goes and take it from there. Deep down, I think we both know...but, he might surprise me. And I might surprise myself. God knows.