Bitter and angry, why does a week feel so long?

Anxiety brews within me, I can feel it swelling deep within my stomach. Driven by anger, frustration and dread. So soon it seems that i'll be out of there but there's high hurdles to jump over before I can at last get a sense of freedom. I just want to run away, just run and run, never look back. I just want to disappear off the face of the earth without a trace.

I'm so angry at myself that this has been caused by my fucking flatmates idiot, entitled girlfriend - right to the very end she's had complete power over the entire household and I hate that my weakling of a flatmate allows her to do it. 'Don't be weirded out by my family who'll be here tomorrow night,' where she goes on to tell me that she'll be hosting them in our kitchen all night. Which, basically means that it'll be off limits. As if I want to interact with her fucking family, in my own house!? She didn't even ask, she was telling me. And they'll be noisy and inconsiderate and messy, because she is. I don't really want to look her mother in the eye - I've a lot I want to ask her.

I cannot wait, to never, ever see that stupid 21 year old ever again.
Don't get me wrong, I know I was 21 once! But I would never have pulled that shit on anyone. I can't believe she's getting away with it...I sincerely hope Karma exists.

So I'm trying weigh up how to get out of this. I just don't want to be there, for any of it. I know I could potentially escape to Mike's but...his parent's house is just as intense - just a different sort. I saw them last weekend, it's too soon. I've so much I want to do and sort out, I need to be at mine, I want to be, but I can't seem to get any traction to do any of it.

I mean, I'm sure i'm over-reacting - I know I am. I'm throwing a strop to myself because I want to go to the gym, work up a frustrated sweat, get home, eat and wash in peace without having to be 'on' for anyone and eventually relax. But I don't know if I can do any of this. It's just for one night.

My brother will be moving out tomorrow, which feels rather last minuet. I feel upset about this. I'm not sure why. I can't determine whether it's because I'm going to miss him or if I miss him already. I can't tell if I feel envy that he's leaving before me so effortlessly, when i've been wanting to escape since November. Or is it jealousy? He's only able to do it because dad's helping him with the financial side of things, but he earns far more than me...he's been enjoying himself far more than me, clearly. I'm sad that there's a distance between us where there wasn't before. His new girlfriend is just like the last - taking up all of his time, he doesn't talk to me anymore.

I'm tempted to just get black-out drunk, that would be convenient. I know that I should be loud, brash, make an obvious mark that i'm there, living, present - make everyone feel uncomfortable - fight back in kind. But it's not my style, I can't...I won't.

Please, god, let this next week whiz by quickly. I desperately want to be there, now. Future me, what's it like? Will I be laughing about all of this ridiculousness already? How does it feel to be sat on a sofa that's mine, surrounded by all of my things, able to put the kettle on whenever I like, cook whatever I want, whenever...