Naturally

Magical. The past weekend was truly magical. Beautiful. Wonderful. I'm in a daze.


On Friday we went and saw a movie together, I booked a film for something i'd heard no hype about but watching the trailer without sound it looked to be rather inoffensive so I booked tickets. We bought a bottle of wine and drank a little at the bar before going to find out seats. We giggled as we realized we were the youngest in there, we threw popcorn at each other and nestled against each other getting slowly tipsy. We went back to mine and got takeaway pizza and watched the rest of a documentary. We woke the following morning and decided to take a very impromptu trip to Folkestone, a seaside town in Kent. We booked a cheap hotel and went to my old flat to collect my car and embarked on the 2 hour drive the coast. It was exactly what I wanted driving to be like and I was so happy that he was in my passenger seat, with his trailers off and his feet on the dashboard as we talked and talked. I told him about my strained relationship with mum, and the slightly turbulent nature of her family relationships too, my aunt and her struggles. It was nice to share and it was easy, he listened and was sympathetic, it felt good to get things off my chest and clue him in to what's been going on. It felt natural. He told me a little about his family too, the journey went very quickly and soon we spotted the large hotel eye-saw which dominated the seaside coastline. We found a spot to park and checked in, a stuffy but busy entrance with a familiar battered smell on the air with a hint of swimming pool changing rooms. It was a big place with bright, patterned carpets and old folk clustered together looking and posters for upcoming entertainment. We collected our key and walked up to the third floor, making our way through the tired doors with chipped paint and grubby hand-prints. We found our room, purple feature walls, fleece cushion covers but a lovely seaside view from the window. We walked about the cobbled streets lined with arty, crafty stores with vibrant shop-fronts and went to find some lunch, at a small tapas restaurant with rum cocktails and talked about our career plans. I told him how excited I was for his book, how things were coming together. I like how his plans aren't strict, but he has a rough idea of how he wants things to pan out.
'I really like you a lot' he said sat across from me as we wandered what we'd get up to next. We walked hand in hand up the rest of the streets, went to the seafront, walked along the beautiful promenade and sipped champagne at the top by the lighthouse tower. Retro, swing music played and we looked out at the view of the beautiful cliffs and blue sea. It was simply lovely, could easily have been a dream. It started to get a bit chilly on the wind, so we walked back into town and found a warmly lit pub with a dark interior, candles on the tables and leather armchairs and shared a bottle of Malbec getting slightly merry. He looked so beautiful in the candlelight and I felt so lucky. I still do.
We went back to the hotel, stopping briefly at the 'ballroom' to spy the entertainment; a Robbie Williams tribute act with a drunk man up with him glugging a tall pint with his arm around him, stumbling into a dance. Silver haired ladies and gentleman dotted about the hall bopping along, it was a surreal sight but in keeping with the hotel; dated but comforting. It reminded me of home.
We spent the night indulging in our passions and enjoyed being loud and free. The following morning we went and had breakfast in a nearby cafe, pootled about the shops and walked along the seafront. We arrived back to the familiar marina to a hive of activity, people chatting in the sun surrounded by food trucks and the sound of a jazz band doing covers of much loved classics. We sat in the sun looking out across the bay talking excitedly about our secrets before gradually making our way back to the car to start the drive home again. We talked and put on music, it was a straight forward drive that didn't feel like it took long at all and before I knew it we were back home beneath my duvet watching his laptop eating bread and cheese. This morning he walked me to work, which was so lovely. I'm not feeling 100% today, I feel i've a cold coming on, achy, sniffly and fuzzy-headed but he was so caring. I felt guilty that he had to see me not on my usual form but he didn't seem phased. I will miss him tonight and tomorrow night where he'll be in Cork seeing friends and collecting some of his belongings from when he lived there earlier in the year. But it'll be nice having some of my own space and hanging out with my brother and Ivo, which will be the first time properly. Really all I want to do is sleep but I need to make an effort with them as i've been spending most of my time with Michael.


I feel lucky and happy, tired and achy. If it were to all end tomorrow, at least i've some wonderful memories. I'm hungry for more adventures with him but, I've got to play it as cool as I can because to be honest, i've lost a lot of it as i've got wrapped up in his presence. Yesterday I told him if we had a lounge it would be really cool (so lame, but I was carried away by an amazing track that took me to a cosy lounge with book-shelves and colourful walls that we shared in this daydream.) He was sweet about it, said he understood what I meant, could see it too, we've spent a lot of time together etc. But I felt conscious i'd stepped over a line. I do hope that I haven't pushed my luck. I was so tired, my guard was down and again, he didn't seem to mind at all. But I worry he'll disappear as quickly as he's entered into my life...naturally.