I lie awake at 3.30am trying hard to fight the sinking, sickening feeling but it's there, pointing into all the corners of my gut and mind and I close my eyes trying to figure out where I went wrong.
'What are you up to Tuesday evening?' he asks innocently and as I put together my reply among other things I feel excited, wow, he wants to see me during the week I think to myself. Foolishly. I woke up in the night and saw his message and decided to read it. Only a single paragraph he says there's something he wants to talk to me about, and wants to meet me at mine at 6.30pm this evening.
So, I guess this is the end.
There's possibly a bit of relief in there but it's mostly anxiety and nerves. I'm sure it's either going to be there 'I'm going into the most stressful time of my life and I can't commit to you as you deserve' or 'a job has come up overseas.' Both shitty but understandable. I could be wrong, it could be something else, but I'm following my instincts on this one.
Why now?
Why did he even start up with me...I knew what I was getting into.
What a way to kick off my 28th year - a break up.
That'll serve me right for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
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