Closure. Thank you for the memories.

I feel cleansed. I waited in the park, standing in the sun watching police horses drink from the water fountain. He was late, but I didn’t mind. I saw his familiar presence come towards me and I felt pleased to see him but had to think about how to act; his beautiful eyes and big smile just pull me in. We walked and talked for a bit; him about his papers, me about moving, we laughed but there was an air of awkwardness. As I passed him his jacket, he said how he’d thought about lots of things he’s written down but how now I was in front of him words had sort of escaped him. I feel I have to write this somewhere because soon he’ll be a distant memory. As life moves on, I’m sure we won’t see each other again, he’s probably the first person I’ve ever really said goodbye to, knowing it’s unlikely our paths will ever cross again. In 5 months or so, we covered a lot of ground.

I let him talk. ‘I have to say, I truly respect you. The way you’ve behaved throughout, your elegance and grace. Thank you for teaching me, I feel like I’ve grown up so much since being with you. I enjoyed every single moment I was with you. You’d make the perfect person to settle down with, a partner for life - I thought it many times.
I’ve never met anyone so positive and who genuinely sees the positive in everyone. Thank you for showing me how proper adults are supposed to have these sorts of conversations, if it were me, I’d probably be very angry and wouldn’t want to see the other person. I’m so glad we had this opportunity to meet again.

I’m just sorry that it was you who was my teacher.’

I said that I respected him too and that because of this, there are no hard feelings. I’ve been in his place before, been in his shoes – not fully recovering from an unpleasant break up and stumbling upon someone who wants it all. I said that nobody had done anything wrong.
We hugged, it was nice. We smiled, he hoped that we would remain friends. I told him to look after himself. It was closure, I got the feeling he needed it. I texted him and just to say thank you. Because, he didn’t have to say what he did but I like that he did. He felt it was important, and in a way, I’m proud of myself for allowing the situation to unfold as it did, end as it did. We enjoyed ourselves, it was fun. I’ve some wonderful memories. Isn’t that what lifes all about anyway?