It was such a dreamy weekend. I know it's nearly the next one but i'm still feeling the buzz from just being with him. On the Friday and went and saw where he studies, which is right in the centre of London. I felt a little out of my depth whilst waiting outside, looking in at the groups of young adults with their friends, beers in hand, enjoying the warm evening. I felt as though I didn't belong although when I stepped in, it all softened and I realised people were a lot more friendly than I had initially thought. There was some sort of outside concert going on with open stalls selling food and drinks and soon Phil approached and we went into his building to look around. It was grand and impressive, lots of little study room, books everywhere, people working hard. I met one of his fellow student friends who was really lovely, I felt happy to be in his space and enjoyed him taking the lead and showing me around. We went for dinner at a vegetarian Indian place which was really nice, I didn't recognize the name but when I was sat down it came back to me, i'm pretty sure me and Joe had been before. I can't remember the circumstances exactly, possibly during out rekindling phase. But it was great food and it was nice to share and talk, as it always is. We got back to mine and slept in late, I went out and bought things for breakfast. We got ready listening to Feeder (who he'd not heard much of before, but enjoyed it) and I drove us to his where we went rollerskating and had a BBQ in the evening. I love his house, I feel so relaxed there. His cute little garden, his sisters cat, the comfortable surroundings and the just knowing it's him and me - it's such a wonderful feeling. We drunk wine, I drunk a lot actually, I was in the mood for it which usually happens when i'm relaxed. We played games in the evening which was a lot of fun, he saw my boyish side and we laughed and played until the small hours. The following morning we watched the football and I reluctantly drove back home. I love being able to drive back as I like, all scruffy, no make-up, just as is. He texted to say i'd left my purse in his bag and he came to drop it off on his way back from his parents. His dad drove him, I was half expecting to see him briefly but I didn't. It was so sweet of him to return it although I did feel a bit embarrassed, i'm never usually forgetful.
I won't be seeing him this weekend as he's spending it in Brighton with his friends for a bit of a lad weekend. Twice a year or so they make the effort to get together and do something, which is lovely. They sound like a nice bunch, although he did mention how he hoped they would bring some drugs along. It should ring alarm bells but actually, I kinda like it. I would love to share experiences like that with him. I've never really been in the situation before to try any but if the opportunity presented itself, I would go for it. He makes me feel safe and at ease, I don't worry about anything when i'm with him, so I could imagine it being really great fun. I don't know if this would ever actually happen, but i'm only encouraging of his own experiences with these things as he deserves to relax and let go. I look forward to hearing about it. Am I worried that they'll go for a mad night out? Hmm, i'm not sure. I mean, he doesn't come across as someone who would get silly, mad drunk, grinding up against girls and all that, but their a handsome bunch and who knows, the group mentality might change the way he usually behaves. If he did, would he tell me? Probably not. But surprisingly, i'm not actually that concerned. Normally I would be, but, would I do that if it were the other way around? No. I trust him.
He's going to give me a ring this evening which i'm looking forward to, I love our chats that usually go on for over an hour. They'd go on for longer if I had my way! I like that he wants to. It makes me feel as though we're more at the 'relationship' stage than 'dating.' I could be wrong, though. Ever the pessimist. I believe the next time i'll see him will be his birthday. Perhaps on the day, or the following weekend. I'm really excited about it but i'm also nervous. Have I done too much? Will I freak him out? I mean, again, if it were the other way around i'd feel happy that someone had gone to the effort - plus this is what I love to do. So, the bigger half of me is just going to go for it because if he does react in a way that upsets me, or throws me off, I'll know that it's not meant to be and he's not deserving of my effort. Maybe it'll initiate bigger questions, bigger chat, who knows. I endeavor to get really drunk to help me break through the awkward barrier and just come out with it; 'so, what are we? Are we past dating?'
But there's a bit of time before now and then so I've got to think about what's occurring before. This weekend i'll be going to visit dad with my brother, which will be nice. And a nice distraction.
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