The weekend was full to the brim with activities, Friday evening me and Phil went bowling at a much more run down venue but had much more fun than the higher class, neat and prim all star lanes place we went to before. We wasted money in the arcades and I lost many games of air slammers but we laughed lots and before I knew it was 10.30pm and we hadn't yet had dinner. He stayed the night and the following morning we lazed about until the afternoon where he ventured home. I added details to his birthday present which is a while in the making but it's nice to not have to rush to get it complete. Sunday morning me and my brother drove back home to see mum which was nice, I drove us to the seaside as well, which was unexpected - but nice. To have her approval makes me feel as though I can enjoy it more than before. Then we drove back in the early evening, singing along to old, much-loved classics and talked the whole way. It was exactly how I imagined driving about with my brother would be like, when I imagined it all those years ago.
I feel sleepy today and tomorrow is going to be an even more full on affair, traveling to Dublin for work. It'll be nice to get out of the office though and break up the week a bit. But I'm sure when the weekend comes around i'll be exhausted. I'm going to take it easy this evening and pamper myself, perhaps do a bit more drawing.
I was surprised by seeing Dan's name pop up on my screen, for the first time in about 2 months. Our conversations were archived as soon as I went on my second date with Phil, I knew I wanted to start with a clean slate and couldn't run the risk of Dan trying to intervene. He commented on the silence, thought he'd give it one more try. I welcomed the dialogue, almost as a test to see how his words would make me feel. It shouldn't have, but it made me feel happy to read that he had missed my visits and was curious about what i'd been up to. I should really leave it as it is, but it's nice to hear from him again and how he's been. - Which is largely the same as before, which I suppose I was kinda expecting.
I'm a little surprised at how ready I am to go and see him again, eventhough it would probably be a bad idea. He's just so familiar. I'd know exactly what to expect, we just know each other so well. But, do I really want to open up that closed door again? He has always offered me a form of escape from situations I find i'm too scared to work through on my own. It's like he gives me that final push. But, at this time i'm pretty happy with how things are though. So, if I invite him back into my life like I have on so many previous occasions, will it just lead to trouble? Me and Phil haven't had 'the chat' yet, so on paper it wouldn't be wrong - but, in my heart it would be. Because if it were the other way around, I would be pretty upset. Plus, I'd like the chat to happen at some point, doing this would only confuse me surely. It's not like i'm missing that fulfillment anyway... I am assuming lots of things of course. Although he has said he'd like to arrange a date, perhaps I could drive there. Like i'd always planned. Well anyway, for now it's just chat, catching up, seeing how each other's doing, that sort of thing. I'll have to be careful not to let it get too out of hand. He's clever like that.
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