Friday is upon us and it feels...exciting. And nerve-wracking.

I really hope the time will pass quickly but i'm sure the reality will be different.


He's going to meet me outside the station later after I finish work and we'll then head back to his for dinner, wine and perhaps a few games too. I'm really looking forward to it, it'll be so nice to see him in his own environment although it might be a bit sparse as he's moved a lot of things out. But I can feel anxiety building within me again and I'm so worried he'll cancel on me at the last moment. He hasn't given me any reason to doubt him, never done anything like it before. But for some reason I look for those reasons. I don't know why.


But, if it goes ahead, it should be a really fun evening. I'm not expecting anything to happen especially, only that it should all be really nice. But suddenly it feels sort of new to me and i'm not sure of the protocol. I'm hoping that we'll both get nicely merry on wine and just, go with the flow I suppose. If it comes down to it, i'm not anxious about those exciting details - I just don't want to think that it is going to happen, to then be disappointed if it doesn't. Because truly, it's just all I want to do! I have a feeling that if we do though...we'll both just 'know.' I'm not bigging up the idea too much, in fact my mind is preparing for me to find it a little lackluster as he just excels in every other area, there's got to be a catch somewhere. I just...don't believe he's real.


I'll be spending this lunchtime locked in the work bathroom preparing my face, as lame as it sounds. I just hate day-worn makeup that has to last til the evening, it never does. And that's the last thing that I want on my mind! I know it doesn't really matter and perhaps nobody even notices but, at least when i've done it I feel more confident. If I feel i've done what I can to look my best, then whatever happens I know i've done all I can.

Just...come on and hurry up 'end of day' please!