Balance soon

My poor body. Just had to take another tablet to hopefully balance things again - physically, not emotionally this time. Really need to give myself a break but it’s hard when things suddenly feel very demanding. 

Although I’ve told myself not to buy anything new, I just needed a cup of coffee and sit down in the familiar coffee place by my work, just fancied watching the world for a while. I’ve got to try not to cry. There’s nothing to cry about and yet it’s all I want to do. 

Just put earphones in my ears with no music. I really want a cigarette. Feel so sick. Chest so tight. I don’t know what to do with myself. I know I don’t want to be in this body anymore. 

I hope I feel rosier tomorrow...