Wasn't even anything to start off with

Today I am going to challenge myself to not look at my phone. All. Day.
It's going to be very tough, because I fear I'm hooked onto checking it, much like the rest of the worlds population. I don't like it, I never have, I've got to try and get this all under control.
So, he messaged yesterday saying he wasn't able to use his phone at all as work bosses were in all day, which I suppose was fair enough. I replied saying no problem and that I hoped we'd speak soon. But I haven't heard back since. I'm sure it's just me, jumping to the worst conclusions as I always do. But, I just wish I knew what was in store this weekend. He might just suddenly fizzle out, that could be it.
I would be surprised if he did this, as he's seemed very keen. But hmm perhaps this is 'the catch' - blowing tremendously hot and cold? It's possible to have a change of heart. I know i've done it before in the past.
I've just got to let it lie, though. I mean, we've never met. We've been exchanging messages for what, little over a week? One phone call? I can't be that gutted, if it is the end. I'm not going to cry over it. Even though that's kinda all i've been wanting to do lately. Just, everything building and building up. Just, pinning my hopes onto anyone that walks into my life, it's so irresponsible of me. But i've always done it, as soon as the opportunity comes along, that's it. A hopeless romantic.
I've just got to remind myself of all the previous times i've latched onto someone for it not to work out, for reasons beyond my control. Sure, the first couple of days were tough, but I got through it. Do I think about it now? No. So, i've just got to keep riding that wave. That wave of shite that's been threatening to crash down on me at many points of 2018 - lets hope that when the summer comes it'll be the last of it.




It looks like i'll be moving out on Sunday...I think i'm just stressed and worked up because of that. Chris offered to help me move everything, which is so wonderfully sweet and, i'm not sure how to feel, or whether I should take him up on the offer. I'd like to, but I feel it's a lot of effort for him. It's just, a strange one and I feel upset even thinking about it.


But once I get settled into the new place, I'll be able to start afresh. Focus on me. Get back into dating again. Get my social life back.