So we did end up talking last night on the phone, for nearly 2 hours! I was pleased that he didn't want to cancel it, although he did ask if he wanted me to reply to my previous message in full or call instead. And as i'd been gearing up for it all day (I feel so lame admitting that,) I went ahead and said we should chat. And when I saw his name appear on my phone in my hand, I felt my stomach tighten with excitement and anxiety.
He had a nice voice that put me at ease, well spoken, not too quick nor too slow. It was that first, slightly awkward bit where we both talked at the same time but we soon found our flow. He was keen to ask a lot of questions, lots of things i've not been asked before which was interesting. What inspired my drawings, how I felt about the bad thoughts/opinions on technology 'taking over,' does luxury jewellery follow the same sort of trends as fashion...they were all well very well considered and thoughtful questions and he responded well to my answers. But it wasn't exactly exactly light, or playful. He laughed a little bit at times which was nice to hear, but I think he must have been nervous. He was keen to add me on Facebook which I've been hesitant about, but when he asked again I just thought the heck with it, I mean, it's got to happen sometime. I cringe looking at my lack of social media presence and most of what's on there are pictures of me and Chris which must be awkward for him to see, I'm apprehensive about that to be honest. I'm sure he's stalked him and he might be aware of how recently things ended. But I dearly hope he gives me a chance to explain the situation, perhaps on Saturday when we meet. If we meet. God. Anxiety already brewing inside me about all of this. I don't know him very well, and looking at this own profile didn't give me much else in terms of his personality or interests, it was more baron than mine. There were a few status's and pictures from his late teens/early 20's which were cute.
But I do worry what he might be thinking looking back over all my pictures. Maybe he doesn't care as much I worry that he does. But hey, it happened and i'm not ashamed of it, we ended on good terms and really, it shouldn't really be any of his concern. If he takes issue with it, well, then I know that it's not going to work out.
But, at this moment I get the feeling he might be a little intense in person, perhaps. I wonder if he might be like that Drew guy I went on a couple of nightmare dates with, who was all talk but actually had nothing substantial going on in his life at all. I don't think so, though. I mean, it's a pretty unfair comparison against an absolute nutcase. But I hope he's not too, too serious. Perhaps I'll lighten him up a bit, make him feel more at ease?
Perhaps that opportunity won't ever come about...
I'm going to the new flat this evening to meet the new girl who'll be moving into the room next to mine. I'm looking forward to it, I do hope she'll be nice. She won't be moving in until May so there are additional costs to cover while before then, but I don't really mind. I love the house, love my room and can't wait to make it my space again. I'm really looking forward to having that again, actually. To be able to meet people and know that i've got my own base, feels nice. Where now, i'm sort of 'nowhere.' Presumably it's a week from now that I sign the contract and I'll be able to move in. So soon it feels. But, it'll be a good thing for sure.
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