It's been a week of just me and my mind, battling against the constant brewing of anxiety, the sadness, the realisation. 

I feel so blue. 

I have learnt a lot. But, it's too much for me to even admit to myself at the moment, so this brief entry will have to suffice as the starting to the inevitable out-pour of...well, I have no idea.

Flattery is a very dangerous and powerful thing. I can never let myself fall for it again.

Lots of thinking to do.

* 

Constant churning in my stomach. I’ve got to cut it off. Again. Move on with my life. This cannot be. 

I can't let him seep into my mind again. Again. I'm letting him rule my thoughts, he's managed to control his way into my...happiness. When did I get so weak?

I thought I had it all under control.

Already it's too much. It's far too much. It's intense, demanding, so many requests for things...could I imagine being with someone like this? Money, wealth and success are all well and good but this...is too much.