Nice people never win

I hate to say it, I hate admitting it to myself but from what I've learnt it's true. Being nice seems to encourage people to walk all over you. You're not a leader, but a follower. You follow everyone else's guidelines because you'd hate to put anyone's noses out of joint or hurt their feelings. Who would had thought that something so well intentioned could be so crippling?

I fear that by being nice means that ultimately, I won't get what I want. I feel time racing by me and I'm not really getting closer to where I want to be. I'm waiting, but for how long? He'll never be ready, he'll resent me if I keep asking, he'll loose me. Men just don't seem to want the responsibility.

Soon I'll be at those crossroads. 

To risk loosing everything I have now, everything we have now for an unknown someone to give me what I truly want. It's slim, so slim a chance that it would work out but I'm so doubtful. I need to see it in his actions and there aren't many convincing me...I am hopefully but hopefulness and niceness aren't enough combined. 

I think when the new year comes around I'll ask him again. If it's the same response as last year, well...I'll have to think about looking into other options.