I think it's a combination of boredom at work and changes in my personal life. Work is very quiet at the moment and I find myself online shopping to kill time and generate a slight buzz of excitement. It doesn't last, of course. I know this. It's impulse buying at it's finest.
I'm going to play the 14 day rule where if I want to buy something, I need to wait 14 days before I go ahead and purchase it. Because, the reality is that I probably won't want it then.
We spent the past weekend hand carrying many of our personal possessions to the new flat which is a short walk from where we are at the moment. Thousands of steps clocked up, achy joints and bare, blank walls. It's this in between stage which really gets to me, when some of my things are here, the others are there, my comforts have gone, there is no personality left. I found myself knocking about this unfamiliar place and spent the evening browsing and shopping, just...silly. In 3 days we'll be moving, why couldn't I just hang on?
I have no money at the moment, payday has just been and gone. Hopefully we'll get most of our deposit back but i'm not holding my breath. Then it's Chris's birthday and he's expecting a lot, then it's my brother, then it's Rick, then it's Christmas - it's never ending. It's daunting. I know i've just got to push through it regardless, i've no other choice.
I'm bringing lunch, i'm avoiding the tube and walking instead, i've just got to avoid the place where I trawl when I feel I need stimulating...
It's a low day. I'm giving myself a hard time.
Today is a new day.
It's time to reset.
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