No good news

This week hasn't been my best. I think I might be going through a depressive phase, one moment I'm happy, making the most of things, the next I can't stop crying. I'm jealous of everyone else. Pregnant women, engaged old colleagues, friends travelling, job promotions of others, even my own brothers successes.

I just feel as though everyone else is progressing with their lives where I'm stuck here in a shitty situation. I try and push things further along but I feel the efforts will go unchanged, unanswered, unphased. 

I know I'm trying to be grown up, I'm trying to be responsible. But the weeks are flying by, soon I'll be another year older and I don't want to be, I don't want to be hit by the harsh truth that I haven't accomplished anything with my life, none of my dreams have been conquered, I'm not even on the way to any of these things. 

I feel so far away from where I want to be, I feel deep in this dark cave and nothing can pull me from it. The beacon of light is any 'good news' and fuck knows when that'll come along yet.

I just feel like I've made a series of mistakes, and I'm trying desperately to cover them up with a series of other mistakes. 

I want to be a mother, I want to be a family but I want the other half of me to want that to but he's too wrapped up in grand travel plans, fast cars and no money - so heavily influenced by his friends he could never want any of these things unless some of his friends had done it first. 

Am I being unreasonable? Should I share any of this with him? I...worry.