I had to cancel on Olive once again, I think at long last that is the final nail in the coffin. Although there have been many, that was the last goodbye of them all. I almost knew it all along, because I know what will happen when I get there. The whole situation would be dishonest, I would be lying to everyone and...I'm not that person anymore. Why open up another can of worms? Why stress myself out over a pointless situation? I am tempted by the situation because I want something I can't communicate with those closest to me, but in truth I would be pushing myself further away from one of the best things i've ever had.

Why ruin it all because of my inability to say no?If it were the other way around, i'd be devastated. I have it all right before my eyes. Curiosity and flattery isn't going to 'solve' anything.