I will never tire of being on the outside looking in. Be it, a coffee shop window not far from the tube station; couples meeting to catch up on their days, business men with their sleeves rolled up and their top button undone talking animatedly with their hands, my eye might me caught one a fleeting moment but it is soon forgotten as I walk on. Or perhaps it's the conversation on the air as I walk past groups of people up and down the street; a heated debate, perhaps it's an indifference about where they'll be heading next. It could be laughter. Someone texting on their phone, angrily - what's caused them to act so furiously? Why do they frown downwards towards their tiny screens...
What is it really worth? Does it matter, in this gigantic planet filled with other souls each angry, happy, lost, found in their own times? It could always be so much worse. I am lucky to find myself caught up in the speed walking stretch from train to train where I tut and roll my eyes and those slower than me (everyone,) and I am lucky to have a job that pays me decently and a front door to open in a different city. I am lucky to feel the emotions that drag me down and lift me up, all in the same day.
One day it will all be gone. My body will disintegrate into the ground and my name will be remembered by only a few. Perhaps more than I think but maybe not. And that's okay, because it is inevitable, there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming to me. The only thing I can do is try and savour the moments that I enjoy and try and find enjoyment in things that I'd usually class as mundane.
I am going to try and do more that brings a smile to my face in the hope it might bring one to others. It is important to remember that I am living in this era for some reason or another and it's not clear to me now but it will hopefully unfold along the way...I need to remember this before I get lost in the whirlwind again.
My fingers are still crossed for this new job...
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