blues

Trying to stay focus, trying to stay focused. Enduring a myriad of blues...

 

The past few mornings I wake up and feel as though my body is broken. I feel groggy, slow, tired, uncomfortable. As though I've had a lardy evening the night before with copious amounts of fat and spirits having fallen into a gluttonous dream, to be shocked awake by my alarm to find I had done none of the previous at all. Maybe I should, see if that helps cure what ales me.

It's probably the reality setting in from a wonderful weekend away in Amsterdam - goodness me, I fell in love. I adored it all! Amazing people, so charming, friendly, helpful, sincere all with a laid back vibe set in beautiful narrow streets with bridges and canal boats. We walked around for many miles, careful not to slip on the blind patches of ice as the sky turned from glorious sunshine one moment to heavy snow the next. We popped our heads into bars, restaurants, coffee shops - it was so much fun. Bobbing about on the canal taking in the history, marvelling at the tall narrow buildings - I could have stayed forever. The hotel was nice as well, I just loved wrapping myself in him, I miss the sensation even now.

 

I hope that whatever my body is going through, I recover soon. Maybe it's stress, adrenalin, worries, apprehension. I need to get some sort of therapy, perhaps that'll help clear my mind.

No news from the job, it sounds as if they're going to postpone any upcoming changes until April time and I honestly can't wait that long. London is killing me.

So i'm going to start again. Scrap my CV, get rid of the border, the colours, the paragraphs and chop it right down into smart bullet point lists. New year, new me. And new me doesn't wait around for a job to find her, it is up to me to put myself out there - again! It's not that it didn't work before, I still got responses - so fingers crossed this is the right time. Hopefully I'll get a moment today to get started on it...