What a surreal period of time I have just endured, and seem to be continuing so. I just can't seem to adjust to the pace of the days and the events that seem to have transpired as of late. Less than a week from now it will be Christmas day, I don't know where it's come from! The month has almost appeared before my eyes as the last date I truly recall is some time in October. But hey, here we are. It has been a very intense weekend and I have arrived back to work thrown straight into it, busy busy busy. But that's no bad thing, it's a pleasant distraction from the concerns on my mind.
Friday was the funeral. It has been the first one I have ever been to before, which I realise is a very good thing as they are far from pleasant. It was an incredibly moving and sad day, my emotions felt stretched - so I cannot begin to imagine how Chris's wonderful family must have been feeling. It was all a bit of a blur. Bob had an incredible turn out, perhaps 400 people or more, all crowded around quietly in black winter coats. It was a humble bundle of people which truly reflected the type of chap he was. I mingled as best as I could before John (Chris's dad,) took my hand and lead me to the front, I was sit in the front with the close family. I felt honoured and completely overcome with emotion. Love and sorrow. We followed the linked arms, so many tears but smiles were also shared. Chris helped walk the coffin down the isle, I felt so proud of him. He also read out a poem which was a fond favourite of Bob's. John squeezed my hand as Chris broke down in tears at the end, I couldn't help but cry too.
Before we knew it we were at the wake and drinks were flowing. Music was playing and people's spirits were lifted. I felt incredibly grateful for being a part of this incredibly family. Never have I seen such a close group of people. I liked that John was there to, I enjoyed seeing the aunts and uncles give him hugs, it was nice to see.
People ate, danced and cried - and laughed too, most importantly. At a couple of moments I imagined him sitting on a chair in the corner behind the groups chatting and sharing, smiling and musing at the surrounding gathering in his honour. He would have loved it, and that's what it's all about I suppose.
It put a lot of things in perspective. It made me realise how short life truly is and how it will keep on regardless of who joins this planet and who leaves it. It made me feel comforted in a strange sort of way.
It has certainly brought me closer to Chris which I didn't feel was possible. There were moments when we talked about little ones and many of his family members kept hinting at us getting engaged, which was sweet and also a bit funny. Thankfully he reacted in a nice way, not 'wtf!? no way!' haha.
We will have to see what the New Year brings. I think many people feel thankful that this year is coming to a close, I think I feel similar. There are a lot of changes I need to put into place and I look forward to taking a little break away from things for a while so I can get geared up and motivated again. Start afresh!
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