Fair

Feeling blue. Feeling like there is no way out of this. I started off the day in reasonably high spirits after a nice weekend, but today has drained me of my spirit. Everything is hitting me bluntly.

I'm still stuck in this job i don't like, I haven't heard anything more from interviews I thought were promising. I have no money. I spent it all on Chris and it turns out that I needn't have bothered with most of it, the meal was probably the best received bit. And I've two doses of London rent heading my way within days of each other, I'm also the only person buying anything for the flat, including a brand new mattress I won't enjoy for another two months...

The weekend was rosy because we were together and I hadn't a care in the world. Now I'm back to single living in the cold flat with the dregs of food and no internet everything just feels so lacklustre and empty. 

How long will I really remain in the endless void? I thought it was only going to be a few weeks but a month has gone by and it just feels...so far away.

I need to stay positive but it's hard in the cold winter where anything to look forward to is fuelled by money which I have none of. 

I have no social life either. It doesn't feel fairly split....

I'm moving to a new city for love...I hope I thought this through.