It's grey and chilly this morning. I'm trying to hide beneath the layers of cardigans, scarves, my big wool coat with the sounds of the The Kings of convenience playing in my ears. I'm trying hard not to cry, but the tears are so close to the surface. 

Perhaps it's the music, or that I didn't sleep very well last night. Or maybe it's a reaction to the wonderful weekend I've had. Sometimes when i go through a period of social intensity, I've a couple of days afterwards to 'recover' as strange as that sounds. 

The wedding was wonderful. It summed them up perfectly as a couple. It was a church ceremony which I've not been to for a very long time, in fact it was a number of years since I last stepped foot in a church. I liked it though. It was calm and the smell took me back to Sunday mornings as a girl when we used to go with mum, learn the hymns and go up to the alter to be blessed. It was special to watch and be a part of after it was finished we watched photos be taken outside and then went to a cosy lil pub where they had the reception. We drank champagne and a number of other drinks on top of that, ate, laughed and danced the night away. 

I loved being there with Chris and all of his lovely friends, it was so much fun. He smiled and said how he said it all made him think about how it would be if it was us, and we talked about how we'd happily both marry each other, where we'd have it, how the table arrangements would be. It was a bit daft but it felt right as well. 

The following day we went to his parents to have an amazing roast dinner and catch up over some wine, it's been a nice, alcohol weekend! Perhaps that's why I feel my emotions are close to the surface. 

That and the face that I'm going into work, a place who hasn't really been treating me very well recently. It's my last proper week which feels surreal. It's a kick in the nuts and yet I'm looking forward to spending less time there...it's all rather bittersweet.