I'll take the stairs

It's easy to panic. It's easy to become greedy. It's easy to assume that what one has now will be remain there still come tomorrow.

I see myself sitting there, working out the figures, weighing up what the best thing to do was, try and work out plans - I'm so wrapped up in it all, I feel pale, 'sick' almost. I escape a few minuets early, my way of sticking it to the man, walking quickly in the rain. When I reach the tube I look about and see things clearly - this is today. I have spent a good deal of the day looking at numbers, adding up the small quantities in my accounts thinking 'none of this is enough for anything' - wondering how next month will play out when, next month might not be a time I make it to. I might be dying, I might be hit in a freak accident - bleak thoughts I know - but we all don't think things like this could ever happen to us, but they happen to normal people every single day - it could be me. It could be me that gets a job I want, just as much as it could be me that...ends.

I say this because society makes us feel as though we'll be immortal, so they pour expensive advertising campaigns down our necks until we spend all of our money on gadgets, trends, consumables that will never satisfy. And before you know it, the money has gone and so have the days. The time to enjoy this life were spent spending and worrying...it's a special moment when I break out of this spell and see life for what it is - a gift. Even my ordinary little my life. It is such a small moment and it doesn't last long. But I'm seeking comfort in it before it's absorbed once more. 

It can't be all about that, surely. I don't want to fade away worrying about digits and whether I'm thin enough. I want to enjoy the day but people don't make it easy...