Things are changing, but not in the way I planned or hoped for.
I have spent the past 3 days drawing and listening to music, occasionally eating cereal and drinking coffee. It's been delightful, and in many ways, a holiday away from the life I didn't much enjoy.
It saddens me that soon I'll be returning, but I know I have to, and it's not feasible for me to actually live this way! It's nice to escape for a while though.

It looks as though Chris will be getting a new job soon which is very exciting for him. It seems to have happened with no real build up at all, but I'm so pleased for him and he really deserves it.

I have made no indents onto my CV or cover letter, which I should have nailed at this point going by my original plan - but hey, I still have tomorrow! I really should crack on with it then instead...

Spirograph unwind me with your spirals of color...

I've found myself completely taken away, taken aback, absorbed in this new person.
'What sort of person am I?' I asked myself as I looked in the mirror, I told him my concerns to confirm that we were both on the same page and gladly heard that he had been thinking the very same things. We were both about to walk out the door all ready to go and decided to meet as the friends that we were.
True to form I found myself waiting at the wrong station but we met eventually outside the sweet smelling store, the lights changed as the crowds surrounded and we hugged excitedly. We walked the busy alleyways with busy pubs and loud music. We found a typical place and sat outside as it grew colder, sharing stories of bad dates and exchanged anecdotes. It went as I expected it would; it was brilliant fun, the sort of fun I can't remember having. The laughing loudly in restaurants while other people tried to eat quietly, the light-hearted debates and the hours which flowed as easily as the drinks. Before I knew it, it was midnight and it was time to go home. We parted with a brief embrace and I walked up the steps out of the station.
It was nice to be listened to and generally enjoyed. I liked the questions that were asked and how there was still so much left to say. Rough plans were made to meet today, but somehow that felt a little too much so I excused myself but we ended up chatting instead.

I look back on it all and wonder if this could be a wonderful, blooming friendship or perhaps a dangerous potential situation. Affection isn't really apparent but I am curious, something that i'm only used to feeling in my single days - so this needs to be squashed. I need to cut the ties but it's hard because there's not many people I feel I connect with in this life in the way that we do. I suppose it's pretty close to the one I have with dad, but then does that make it weird? Yes, quiet possibly.

Just need to leave it be. But hey, it's just chums sharing stories. It feels weird to me because it's not something i've done for a long time, and, it's nice to have a friend...oh, that makes me sound so lonely. I suppose I am in many ways!

Man, I need to sort out my life and soon.