I am her

I watched Eternal Sunshine once again for the first time for a good couple of years, and I cried. It was the deep tears that come from so far within, even thought I know every line, every look, exactly what's going to come next...it just gets to me like nothing else.
I didn't even realise how sad I felt before. But as I took it all in with the same wonder as the very first time I saw it, it brought back so many emotions and memories of my own and now the credits are rolling by, I feel so lonely.

Life. The pressures and the stresses we all put on ourselves, the thoughts I think almost daily, the reminders of where I should be...it hurts. My body aches. It's probably the sadness at the fact that tomorrow i'll be going back to work again after a blissful few days off. I really don't want to go in. I just want to stay a little hermit, painting, drawing, occasionally singing the days by without having to pretend or fake my way through it all...I am Clementine.

What I wouldn't give to go and see another absorbing film right now. I long to get so wrapped up in it all that perhaps I may even fall within the storyline and not have to face my real daily life.

I feel done.