Wheeling a bicycle chain

Day one of cycling into work. I recall typing that once in the past, possibly about a year ago. I think I must have completed the journey 4 times in all, most of which was nervously walking along the pavement not looking anyone in the eye. I feel different about it this time around. 

It could be the new bike, new things do seem to help motivate a little bit! It's a joy to ride although i'm still getting used to things. It was a part of my birthday present, I had made noises about giving it another go some time ago but didn't commit to anything. The area we live now is just so nice, the roads are smoother, there are cycle lanes, it feels a lot safer. I went for a test ride the other day when I had it off, it was good fun! So this morning I thought 'lets do this!' so, lets see if I can keep it up. I hope so. I've a long way to go, but I'm sure it'll start to feel more normal soon. Maybe I'll save a fair bit on the daily commute, anything like that is a bonus!

 

It's Monday, I feel okay about it but there are underlying niggles that won't go away. Yesterday late in the eve as me and Chris were getting ready for sleep, I couldn't help but bring up the fact that we seem a little out of sync lately. I know he feels it too, but it bugs me that he doesn't say anything about it. I know its not his nature and he's probably worried about upsetting me. But it makes me feel nervous bringing it up. We both get back from work at different times, I've often eaten and am ready for sleep by the time he gets in. We seem to have fallen into the routine of playing on videogames until we're getting frustrated and dropping off. I go up before him and he plays until the small hours, not even saying goodnight. I was aware it was happening, but thought about how hard he works and understood its time for him to relax and unwind. It has impacted on our physical relationship and I'm worried about things falling into bad habits like i'm oh too aware of from my previous relationship.

As was talked about it, he explained that he didn't know why he wasn't feeling so 'in the mood' although he did think that what he did before going to bed did influence how he felt. He knew that playing games into the small hours didn't help things, but I also said that I needed to work on doing more things to be sexy. He wondered if he found our new living environment stimulating enough, which I also considered, but felt a little saddened too. It doesn't matter how close you are, hearing this type of thing never gets any easier. And dwelling on it too much only has negative consequences; is it because i'm ugly? Put on weight? Is it because I don't do things he likes? - all those demons start appearing in my mind. He's also not one to sugarcoat things, so he'll just say it as it is which isn't great to be honest. But at least he doesn't shut down. We need to keep communicating things like this, we have to.

So we've agreed that we'd work more on our evening routine. Make time for each other, have down time that didn't include games. Perhaps we'll have more early nights. It's something we've both got to think about, and hopefully we'll settle back into our rhythm. 
I do hope so.