Strange attraction

I do feel sad today. I'm trying to occupy myself with chores and the odd bit of failing artwork, but as soon as I take a moment to pause it catches up with me again. I just see where other peoples lives are and I wish I was where they were. I feel like I say it all the time these days, it's predictable and frustrating - to think let alone re-read.
Ultimately, what is the most frustrating of all, is the fact that I know that there is a plan for me and I know that, just because it's right for other people, doesn't mean it's necessarily right for me, at this time. I know that I'm still relatively young and there's plenty of things in the world I am yet to see and take in. You can't rush 'settling down' it happens in it's own time, it's a natural process.
I just want my mind to simply accept this and think about other things, but it's hard. I try taking time away from social media, but it's hard when people are contacting me on there, I don't want to be rude or ignore anyone.

Me and Chris did go on a date night on Friday evening which was good fun. We went for cocktails at a rather swanky basement bar and went for dinner at a place not too far from his work. We had been there before not long after we first got together. We were merry and giggled and chatted excitedly, soon we started casually talking about if we got married, what would our wedding day be like - who his best man would be, what food we'd serve, who would be the DJ, all that silliness. It was humbling, cute and not at all strange really, just sort of happened although it was encouraged by alcohol.
We also went to a friends birthday party at their house last night which was good fun, I had a nice time. There was more drinking and catching up with friends and with some, not-so friendly people. Why is it that I seem to attract the type of girl who constantly moans and bitches? They seem to latch onto me and take-over any situation where i'm there with them. I find I'm a bit helpless though, because they're good friends with Chris and his circle, so it would inevitably make things awkward. I would never say anything anyway, I'm not strong enough. I guess I hope that they will mellow with time, but they remind me so much of Sian and our awful 'friendship' that ground me down over the years and it all just comes flooding back. But despite this, I sat with the boys and laughed with them into the late evening. Chris came after he finished work and soon after we went back home. I regret drinking vodka, but I enjoyed being myself for a while, it was good fun.
Sigh. And now it's sunday and the week begins again, I'm reluctant to embrace it.
I'll try and do some drawing now...