It's interesting how the idea seems so much more exciting where the prospect of reality seems to far away. Now it's getting closer and I'm starting to get worried. This could cost me everything.
I'm trying to listen to what my body is telling me. Is it real this time, or is it trickery? On this occasion I honestly feel it could be the first.
People go through with it every single day, in all kinds of circumstances, why do I doubt my own abilities? It's not that I doubt them, it's the situation that I'm in which leaves me doubtful. I'm far from my parents, I live in rented accommodation, I don't have much in the way of savings. I'm in a serious relationship, but I know he's not ready for any of this yet and it may leave him feeling very resentful of me.
So, by weighing this very big decision up, I need to assume the worst; that he might leave me completely. I would have to do this alone.
What would my parents think? I'd hope they support me whatever I decide.
But hang on...once again, this could all be just your mind playing tricks on you! It was only one occasion that leaves you wondering, and this has happened before. Don't worry now, just wait it out and see.
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