Mind games

Okay, so I just need to calm the heck down. I know that by worrying like this, I'm tricking my body into being late. I should never self-diagnose myself with Google! But, I've not been this late before. The previous time where I got myself mega worked up, it was only 2 days delayed. In a way, I don't want to know. I'm going to see my dad tomorrowwhich I'm really looking forward to, but I'll be such a mess if I take a test and it turns out to be positive. Everything will be thrown into disarray.

The flat we're planning on moving into wouldn't let us stay, what would I tell my parents? Perhaps mum would be supportive, maybe she wouldn't be. What would his parents say? and, more importantly, what would he say??

That's the thought that makes me feel sick to my stomach :( I know he'll be upset and won't want to go through with it, which just, breaks my heart. The thing is, I thought that last time - but we were in a different place back then, we didn't live together, we hadn't even been together a year at that point. There really isn't any way I could go through it all over again. In a way, I want to be. But, we're not prepared, I mean, how could it work? What if he wanted to break up with me?

Well, if he were to, I'd just have to do it alone. I'd move home, get another job in the evenings or something, it would be so hard but I could manage it I'm sure.

 

Look, you're driving yourself insane by thinking like this. Yes, 5 days is a long time however, this stress isn't helping. A new change in exercise could prolong things, you just need to play the waiting game for now. Maybe wait until Mondayto see, it's likely that when you're back home, relaxing, your body will settle and things will play out as they should. If they don't, maybe go to the doctor first thing and ask them for a test...

sigh, my goodness me!