Here I sit and I wait, I watch and listen and hope for the best. Today will be my first session, I'm apprehensive to say the least. Not because of the questions they may ask me but the answers I'll struggle to give to them. Will they ask the right things to help me? Will I always carry around this weight upon my shoulders?
It's an interesting concoction, the people who all sit together and wait for their name to be called. It's mostly complaining, or people just staring out into space. You can't help but think, as you visually assess these people, what their troubles are, what they're in for. Maybe it's the ones that look the most fine who are suffering the most, we will never know.
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Was that helpful? I'm not sure how I feel. Im just enjoying hearing the warm air breeze against my headphones as I await my tube to work. Maybe I'm just happy to hear a silence from my own voice.
Although I thought the lady I spoke to was very nice, I also felt she was very time pressured and was unable to veer away from the questions outlined on her photocopied sheet. I don't know why I feel negative about it, but then maybe the original doctor who helped refer me misunderstood my issues. I think perhaps it proper sessions I need face to face, but then I should see this through to the end.
She just wanted to find out more about me, what I get worried about and how it affects my life. The thing is, when you've been living with this for as long as I have, it's difficult to know any different. Summing it up into words made me feel stupid. It's nearly impossible to judge on a scale of one to ten how a certain situation makes you feel...
Listening to a lady sing an acoustic version of a song by the cured which hangs in the stuffy tunnels, hauntingly. What am I doing here?
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