Took the day out to see a doctor, although I felt bad to let work down I'm glad I did. He was very polite and he took time to not only examine but listen as well.
I don't mind having a man listen to my concerns, I know some ladies make a point of only seeing a woman, it doesn't really embarrass me, I mean it is there job after all! But there is something rather surreal about having an anonymous man have his hands and implements in my most private places, and then part ways as quickly as you came in.
Just one of those things!
I also decided to bite the bullet and talk to him about my constant anxiety issues. It wasn't my proudest moment, but it felt good to share what's been a burden for the majority of my adult life. He referred me to a website where I can take a look, write a bit about myself and they should give me a call back. I will look into it when I get home. tablets may be an option, but I will try counselling first...
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Today at work, just an explosion of tears came from my eyes, I started to shake and my knees gave way. What aren't I feeling any better? I should be feeling better...
I really did try this morning, I tried to get up and get into the work frame of mind but as soon as I sat down I started to feel worse and started quietly weeping at my desk. I just feel like the real me is somewhere else at the moment, I wish she would come back to me soon.
So now I on my way home. It feels wrong but all I want to do is collapse.
To bed
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