By the sea is where I want to be today, walking by the endless shore, just keep going and going until I run out of coast. Let the wind chill soak through me right to the bone as I cling to my coat to help keep it out but I just keep walking and walking. Refreshing, reflecting, directionless ambling.
But I find myself at my quiet desk the noisy city where everyone's groaning, sighing and rushing, I am experiencing the Monday blues after the wonderful weekend. I wish I could do it all over again. It really has been full of emotion.
The surprise went down well and he was excited to visit Cambridge for the first time. It felt so good to be back on familiar grounds and it was nice to see how many, once-loved things have remained the same. We were lucky with the weather, although it was cold it was bright and we enjoyed weaving in and out of people as we saw more of the city streets. It didn't go to the best start though, standing around in a bank for ages to find that the account I tried to set up unfortunately got closed and I'll have to wait until April to try it again. It was disappointing to hear but i'm sure it'll be here before we know it and at least the money's not lost. We had lunch and coffee, and then checked into our stunning hotel room which was only around the corner. The views were absolutely beautiful and we basked in the views and open space, we jumped about, hugged, cried. It made me happy and it made me sad.
We enjoyed the luxury, drank the most expensive bottle of wine I've ever had, and went to dinner tipsy and giddy. We had a table reserved by a window overlooking the river and we constantly talked, about the big and little things. We talked about the bigger picture, and how we wanted to plan for the future. We even talked about babies and how we both wanted them some day. It was wonderful. All of it. I just didn't want it to end.
The next day we continued exploring Cambridge and headed home in the late afternoon. Perhaps it was because the weekend was so full on, or the fact that we came home to our cold little flat, all of a sudden Chris burst into tears. I've never seen him like it before, and I wasn't sure what to do or what it meant. He explained how he wanted to do more with his life, wish he had more money, wished he was doing more to challenge himself. He was happy but he just wanted to be further ahead than he was. I listened and we hugged, he was sensitive and very emotional overall. It was insightful and in a way I was grateful he was able to share these thoughts with me and I hope I comforted him and made him feel better. It was also nice to hear that he was on the same page as me and got frustrated at the same things as I did.
I think ultimately, it helped bring us closer together. The whole weekend just flew by and left us wanting more!
Joe and I are still texting, nice, full, lengthy texts catching up on films, music, games. It's great, but I realise I should stop. But, I'm so happy we're able to almost go back to how we used to be. And it's not flirty, or crossing any boundaries, it's just familiar, friendly chat. The thing is I know if I were to see Chris messaging his ex in the same way, it would make me feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea...
No comments:
Post a Comment