This is a place where I feel at home...

Another update with no real point or agenda, I just thought it had been a while.
The weekend was fun, although it felt a little wasted - being absolutely wasted, then the aftermath of sickness, shaking, realization of the amount of money spent. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of drinking, although I like the social aspect of it, that really is the only positive - apart from that I don't much care for it. But, it was a nice night all in all, and Chris outdid himself taking care of me the next day.

I've the day off today and will be back to work tomorrow, which is fine. It's only 'fine' though, but that's better than how it has been in the past. Next month I'll be going full time, which I'm kinda looking forward to but at the same time I think it'll take me a lot of adapting to. I worry i'll push all creative things aside and fall into a boring routine. We will have to see. The money will be good, plus I eat much better when I'm there so these will be bonus's.

As usual I feel as though my emotions are all over the place and I'm not sure how I feel. Normally I'd say 'happy' but I don't know what that really means, I guess content would be a bit more fitting. Getting used to being comfortable I suppose. Our flat feels like home now and I really love the area, which is great. Past events are still playing on my mind a bit, it brings me down.
My best friend has found herself a new man who seems really great for her. He's a bit older than her, has already been married, has a son. But, he has a sensible head on his shoulders which I'm pleased to hear as I feel it's long overdue, a fellow with plans and good morals. We ended up talking about 'big picture' stuff like we usually do, both wondering when it would happen to either of us, if at all. As days go by I see myself wanting the same things typical girls want; a wedding, a baby, a mortgage, all that jazz. I wonder if Chris wants those things to. I've never doubted that he would 'one day' but probably not to the same timescale I'm thinking. It never feels appropriate the ask, though, so I suppose I'll just bumble along and see where things take me.

Just thoughts after all...