It's suddenly become rather wintery outside, but I actually rather like it. It makes me feel all cosy and almost happy to be indoors working. I sat for a few moments in one of my favourite spots in a coffee shop that looks out at the busy streets and it made me smile. Mostly faces appear sullen and annoyed, but occasionally there was a bright faced gent of lady who darted past, who obviously were having good days. I like to see that. I see young chaps in their snug suits, all polished and suave, talking about business into their phones, too important to even pause for a moment, and in contrast the groups of tourists who look up at the buildings carrying maps with large rucksacks. The cool, hooded types who look through their hair in the rain, remind me of damp kisses and hugs, takes me back to the days when I was 18, experiencing love for the first time. It reminds me that you don't see many sights like that around here, you see batches of work friends sharing laughs but no affection really.
It has been an interesting couple of days, mostly unpleasant as I've been suffering with an awful infection in my usual weak area. It seems to be lasting the whole week, but I hope to beat it by this weekend. Amazing sex comes at a price for me! but then, I think it's due to being run down as well. What with a housemate suddenly moving out, change is on the horizon, but hopefully this new chap will be a good fit and who knows, maybe we'll become good friends! I hope so. He's coming over tonight to chat and catch up on a few things, which I'm looking forward to. Work has been the same but in other matters, Dan has come back on the scene again and I've appeared to have welcomed him with open arms but I'm not entirely sure why. I can't say that I haven't thought about him from time to time, and I haven't been able to shun the guilt I feel of how we kinda left things (I ignored his messages inviting me to dinner when he was last in London) but I really didn't want to confuse myself as I was just starting things up with Chris at the time. He messaged me yesterday evening and as soon as we started talking I realised how much I missed him. He told me that very recently he had bought his own flat, a new build, all shiny and new. I felt so happy and excited for him as I know he'd been looking for a place in a while, and of course in his usual style, all went smoothly and everything looks immaculate! I did wonder why he was telling me all of this, and then the invitation came for me to come and visit and I obliged, next weekend. I am looking forward to it very much, however I am aware there may be a tension in the air that once upon a time we acted on. I can't do that now and I don't really want to, but I'm worried it'll make things awkward if it comes up. Ah well, we'll just have to see.
I do wonder though why he does message me the way he does, from time to time. We're so different and I never get the impression off him that he wants to make a real go of it, although maybe his thoughts have changed now he's got a place of his own. But then again, he could just wan to meet up and hang out like we used to, which was always good fun. We'll
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