Looking Too Closely

The weekend just past has been just wonderful.
The idea of writing an entry was provoked by me wondering when the last time was for me, which is a good thing! It just goes to show that I must be rather happy at this point, because posts are so easy to write and frequent when I'm sad.

The past four days have been spent with Woofs, which has been brilliant. We both seem to be getting better at putting up with each others company - I know that sounds a bit odd in these early stages of our relationship, but, for the down times where nothing's happening, the times when we're getting ready in the mornings or browsing the web. The times where there are silences to choose to fill or ignore. I have felt as though we have got a bit closer as the lovely events have unfolded.
On the Saturday it was one of his old work colleagues weddings. I felt so grateful and thankful to be a part of their wonderful day, especially when I hadn't met anybody who was there! There actual ceremony, the photos, the dinner and first dances. It was a lovely blur of happiness, sunshine and music. It was everso romantic, and they were a wonderful, well suited couple.
Chris got a bit emotional, which was really sweet to see. He's known them both for a long time, so it was rather significant to him. There were also lots of his old work friends there to, all of which I was introduced to. I did feel a bit awkward at times, because I'm never too keen on only relying on just one person at these things, but I'm getting better.
It made me feel humbled and thoughtful. I could see that Chris was too. When they were exchanging vows he gripped my hand and smiled at me, when we walked about in the sun he said he wouldn't want anyone else to be there but me. It felt really special, because he's not one to talk about his emotions much to be honest. He's a bit cool about it all. But we talked about how we'd have things at our own weddings, which may have been the only time I've ever had a conversation like it. And although I'm not getting my hopes up or anything, or even think we're anywhere near that stage (haha 4 months, commannn!) it's still nice to know that he thinks about these things.
We danced, drank and ate lots. We got back to his, drank tea and unwound in his front room. Somehow we managed to get onto the subject of flats. I let the subject linger, although I was tempted to broach it, I thought I'd just let it linger and then he turned and said 'well, you never know...if things go well, maybe we could get a place...would you like that?' I also wanted to be cool about it all but nothing could stop this enormous smile cross my face. I knew it was jumping ahead and such, but I just liked how he wasn't afraid to put it out there! In truth, I could easily see myself living with him and I think it would be really fun. Of course there would be times he'd drive me up the wall, but, everyone does! I like the idea of it, even if it doesn't happen for a very long time. I guess it is a very big step to consider, but ah well, we'll just have to see how things pan out.

Sigh, back to work tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it.
Deep sigh. With all this happiness I can see I'm gaining weight and I really hate it, my arms especially. I may test myself and see how little I can get away with eating this week...it's stupid, I know, but it's just on my mind constantly, constantly niggling on the backburner, won't give me a break. I wish it would. It's because at this point last year I was far more in control. I was alone, unhappy, all over the place but at least I had control of what I ate and survived off the minimal. I've been there so anything above that feels like, well, fat I guess. Hopefully I can keep these feelings suppressed and not cave in, keep positive and change my perspective on things.