You are all I need

It has been another long weekend at the fathers. It is a nice little Sunday routine, I very much enjoy seeing him and catching up on everything. I feel very lucky that I am able to have the close relationship that we have where we can pretty much talk about anything and everything, he only advises, never judges. Or, if he does, he doesn't make me feel bad about things.
I went for a run on sunday morning, a small one which completely knackered me out, but it was nice to do it all the same. Just, really need to get back to where I used to be. Used to be much trimmer, have more energy, felt more confident about myself. There certainly is a degree of Chris motivating me, he's training for a triathlon in the summer which is, well mad, really! But impressive and admirable, even though it's the sort of thing I could never bring myself to do.
We had some food, played some games and went and saw my wonderful grandma and in the evening me I gave Chris a call and we chatted and laughed lots, making plans for the next upcoming weeks...when I hung up the phone I felt so much happier about everything. It was just this feeling of absolute joy that washed over me, I couldn't control it but I loved every moment of it. I felt like the youthful me again, back in the days where eye contact was made and held with crushes, everything felt magnified and so exciting. It was followed promptly by feeling worried, worried that this wonderful feeling would be taken away from me quickly. Why can't I just enjoy the moment like I should? I used to be so good at enjoying these things but I suppose a few recent events have knocked my confidence, I just assume that something bad will happen to spoil it all.
"Well if it's meant to work out, then it will. And if it's not, then it won't and that will be that' my dad says, almost with a shrug. Very true, of course. If it's meant to be, then I have to trust that it'll maintain momentum on it's own, not my daft concerns. And if for whatever reason it all falls apart, then it will and I'll have to make do and move on, like I have before and will continue to do.
I do hope not though. Because as ridiculous as it sounds, I think I could be really falling for him...in a big way.