How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard

I did go for a run this morning. I got up, got all geared up for just running wherever the road took me and then found myself at the gym. It was warm and somehow comforting, I realised that it had been a fair while since I last went and it felt really good to get back into it again. I'm going to try and get back to where I used to be, especially now things feel as though they're a little more on track.

I turned down the opportunity to go on a date this evening, instead I've spent the evening in creating cards and getting back into painting. Got the headphones in my ears and feeling like I used to back in my A level days, reminding myself on how good it is to get back into that zone.
There was actually a couple of options on the table, Iain, the chap I went and saw some comedy with one night and a fitness instructor called Sam who kinda fell off the radar after a couple of good conversations before I met up with Chris. As lovely as they both are, I wasn't really tempted. It was mainly the polite side of me that didn't want to disapoint them, but when does that politeness stop? Could imagine them leaning in for a kiss, but not wanting to make them feel as though they weren't attractive, and then who knows where it might lead! It struck me that words are all well and good, but really it's in the actions. By not going, it was physically showing that I am really ready to commit to Chris, regardless of the risks involved. How, of course it could end at any moment. He could turn out to be a complete dick, sure. But, I don't want to start things off on the wrong footing, even knowing where my heart is, outside of my mind it wouldn't look very good. I just thought about how I'd feel if I found out Chris had met someone off that site for a date; pretty upset! It's time to take charge. Before I was all over the show because I had too many options, too many potential guys on the horizon who were each clouding my mind.
'Is it bad that even though I've only just seen you, that I want to see you again?' awww.

On Thursday he's playing a gig and I'm going to go and watch him play, I'm rather looking forward to it! The next day is valentines day, and although I don't really get too involved with it as a day, I couldn't resist the temptation to make him something. I found a cute picture of two whales, drew them with a collaged background with the quote 'How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard' from Whinnie the pooh. I wanted it to be thoughtful but a bit silly too, at the end of the day, it's what I do - it's all I know. It wouldn't feel real if I hadn't put something together for him. I don't know though, maybe it won't seem appropriate to give it to him at the time, but I'll have it just in case.
I hope I get to see him before then though, even though we've both agreed how we enjoy missing each other to have something to look forward to. I booked a couple of gigs that are coming up in the next few months which I hope we'll both be able to go to!
I can hardly believe it to be honest...how lucky I am indeed.