- amazing! Potential to go on a date every day of the week, my social life is suddenly buzzing!
- a great opportunity to make some great friends, go to some interesting places I've not yet been to before in the capital.
- flexible around me and how I feel. All it takes is a deleting click to shut it all down.
But then it's also...
- scary - meeting strangers online can be dangerous, that is on the back burner of my mind. But it's also frightening putting my heart out there, ready for the taking. It's been taken before and abandoned, with every chance I take this is always a risk.
- addictive, I can see how it's easy to jump from one nice guy to the next with a new and exciting message filled with promise and seduction.
- embarrassing, meeting people online has certain connotations attached, however, there are thousands and thousands giving it a go, it's getting more popular...
Both good mini lists, I used to write lists all the time back in the day, made me feel much better about things.
The thing is, in life it's all up in the air all the time. Nobody knows what's lurking around the corner, and like my dad has told me before, just because I don't know what's going to happen, doesn't mean it's going to be bad. It's just my default I guess.
Am I being too picky? Am I expecting to much, am I holding out for a chap who doesn't actually exist? Maybe he does already but he's taken, married, maybe he did exist but then he died...bit bleak that. It's just, such small chances, that you find someone you love and they love you too...I do think it's out there for everyone, but I do hope you don't just get one chance at it, because if so, I'm going to have a very quite life from now on. And I don't want that. The sad thing is, I want this blog to one day be filled with my feelings, thoughts and experiences of pregnancy and motherhood. I don't think it'll be any time soon but in a few years maybe...
Sometimes I think about giving up on it, waiting for someone to find me but when have I ever really believed that? I don't think it about work and they're not too dissimilar on paper when it comes to life changing opportunities. I guess the chap I want to settle down with is also actively seeking someone, so, when we do meet I don't want to appear lazy!
Have I already met him? Ah, I don't know. I won't know that for sure until im 80!
Well, im on the train to dads like usual. This week has gone quickly, im not really looking forward to going back to work next week but that's mainly because it's so straight forward and easy going, it doesn't really matter if im there or not. Sigh. That needs to change, I don't want to feel wasted at somewhere I work, even if the pay is better for less responsibility.
It'll be nice to catch up and talk about comedy, eat good food and just make me feel all safe and back intune with the world once more. And on Monday, I'll head back. Go to the gym, urgh.
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