Will always miss you

It's friday night, it's ten on the dot and I'm under my duvet looking forward to a good nights sleep and wondering what tomorrow will bring. I don't want to admit it, but I'm really excited. I don't want to admit this for two reasons; fear of it being a disappointment and, how putting it out there in front of me makes me realise how lonely I really am, therefore appealing rather desperate. I don't mean to be, and usually I like to think I'm a good judge of character when it comes to stuff like this. We've hit it off so far, we've exchanged hearty messages with a good body of content, shedding enough light on personalities respectively but with enough room for curisoity and question asking. I'm hoping he won't be one of these people who executes himself well in composed messages but is actually incredibly awkward face to face. Ah well, we'll just have to wait and see.I'm sure I'll be able to fill the silences with lots of chatter about, well, anything. Whether he likes it or not! Can always count on myself for that. I'm wondering what to wear. I don't want to be too overdressed because I'm not sure if he's the dressing up kind, but I do want to look as though I made the effort. I'm thinking something simple, black, my leather jacket, maybe a cardigan or two because it'll be pretty cold! yeah, I'm sure it'll be alright.
I feel a lil, I don't know really. Flashes are coming to mind of my anticipations for meeting Lee before our first date, and how amazing it turned out to be. Sigh, I still wonder what's going to end up happening with us, maybe nothing at all. At least I made me clean break at the time, but it still hurts a little bit because we could have really had something so good. But in all of this, this entire process has taught me that I do feel I am ready for a relationship with someone now and I don't want to hop from one guy to another. I can't do it, I don't like hanging on, waiting for their schedules to match up with mine to maybe meet...I'm just not sure it's really for me. I gave it a bloody good shot though. Not meaning to build up 'the last one' too much, but I really do feel that if it doesn't really work out or feel right, then I'll shut my account down and wait to fate to match me with the right person...